In a partnership, when we choose to marry, we take a vow to love one another "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or health"...or something with a very similar tone. We stand up before our friends and family, a notary or an Elvis impersonator and proclaim this love for all to hear.
When we have children, the vows are very similar, yet an unspoken demonstration. There is no growing to love your children like we often have to do with our significant other. It is an instant bond that trumps all others.
I was never supposed to have children. As a matter of fact, when I was diagnosed with cancer at age 19, my doctor wanted to do a full hysterectomy. That's a whole other story that many of you have already heard but when my first son, Isaiah, was born after 2 1/2 grueling years of fertility treatments, my world changed...instantly...and for the better. Here is this beautiful 5lb. 14oz. preemie boy, PROOF that miracles do happen, that faith is tangible and that hope is more than an emotion.
Six months later when his baby brother Micah was conceived (naturally), it was surreal, unexplainable and an amazing blessing. Weighing in at less than 5lbs., this little man was born a fighter much like his mother. Micah, now 15 months old, has been sick for most of his life. Respiratory issues with extreme fevers, hospitalizations, spinal tap, blood cultures and a visit across the state to a specialist has taken up much of his infant time.
I remember the pain, fear and confusion of being ill myself, and could have never imagined the spectrum of emotions that comes into play when it is your own child. I feel perhaps even more anxious because of the sequence of events that had to occur to create these babies!
I pride myself in taking one day at a time and trying not to get too overwhelmed with the "what ifs". But, it takes practice and determination, just like all things worthwhile in life.
As we wait for my little Peanut's results, I want to vocalize my love for my two boys. We don't get a ceremony to celebrate our love but Isaiah and Micah, I want you to know that I will always love you "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health". It's through you both that I continue to grow, learn and conquer the world.